Talking about cod liver oil for hair recommendations, and the last troubled relationship part in which I explain why I got drunk again and what we've come up to with R.
Cod liver oil for hair
As I told you a few posts back, I've begun taking cod liver oil for hair growth mainly. But before you follow my example I want you to know about one peculiarity of this substance. One of the nastiest side effects of cod liver oil (liquid) is that it can cause indigestion, that's why you should take it during meals. More on this, the meal shouldn't be small, so a sandwich and tea won't do, you should be eating a whole meal (say, soup and main dish) and drink a teaspoon of cod liver oil in the middle of it. I strongly advise you to do it this way, because taking it on an empty stomach is likely to result in quite a disturbing way. Also, there is a risk you end up with said slight indigestion in the first few days of taking cod oil even if you follow the directions. Don't worry, after a couple of days this will go away. To be more precise, I'll tell you in the first day I used the bathroom (BM) 6 times a day, and in the second day 5 times a day, so please note that in the first days of drinking cod liver oil (for hair growth or other purposes) you'd better stay at home and not go far from the bathroom ;)Troubled relationship. Drunk again
By Jove, I can't handle it any longer with R. I quit. I know it's been dozen times I said the same thing but upon my word it's getting unbearable both for me and you. This troubled relationship series make me feel the worst wreck in the world as I can turn this blog completely into the place where I talk about nothing other than bad events and sad thoughts. All my blogs sooner or later tend to become such and I leave one after another, starting new ones only to give them the same ending. My LJ's been somehow abandoned for the same reason, I saw I was feeding my Flist with moody posts, there seemed to be no light sunny entries and therefore I decided to spare poor people from my constant flood. For Blogger, I don't want no such outcome thus I stop said troubled relationship sequence until it totally ruins me. I hope you understand.
What made me make this resolution? Easy. After yesterday's fight (and it was a real fight) with R. when I got so infuriated I couldn't control my temper he stated he lost any desire to go on so he'd weighed the decision and added it was over between us. I'd gotten drunk earlier and thought this condition would help me shed a tear but nothing would come out of my eyes however I tried. Damn.When things with R. seemingly got better (half a year ago, the time after UTIs) I stopped drinking, believing full sobriety would bring me more happiness, and it did, and I was so glad I didn't need booze anymore to live life to the max. But gradually relationship with him began to fall apart and return to the state it had been before, and I began to near-hate him again (read all my troubled relationship posts), and as spring came I gave in to alcohol influence again, overwhelmed with desire to cling to cheap cocktails. Date after date, not to see R's face, I got drunk thinking blurred vision and gaps in memory would feel good.
Yesterday it was raining heavily and the sadness inside wanted to find a way out. I went outside, and strolled in the downpour with canned liquor, standing under the roofs of porches, taking gulp after gulp, feeling upset and hating R. for (again) messing up the date (he was supposed to come to eat my self-baked muffins by 2 ad was late for already 4 hours), watching the water from the sky, and that's how I ended up filled with 3 cheap boozes which roughly got me drunk, and yet thanks to it I can barely remember all the bad from that date. I don't drink because it makes me happy - I have to drink as it erases my memory and helps not see R's face. I don't want to drink, I am forced to.
So when R. finally showed up I didn't even conceal my disgust. Yes we drank tea together and he tasted my cupcakes but soon he felt he was far from a welcomed guest there. I went low to the point of offencing him with rude words, and bit and scratched and hit him - so frenzied I felt, until he couldn't take it anymore and said he better be off.
I asked how about the promised marriage to which he replied he didn't want it, he'd been self-deceiving, believing something might grow out of me, I would reconsider my behavior, change my character but so as all remained the same he saw no point in waiting further and wanted no talks about marriage from then on. Means he's been thinking over if he should take me to Spain with him and decided not to as my presence by his side would be a nuisance. R. also asked to look him in the eye but I didn't, and asked me a question I don't remember (since I got drunk and lost the ability to memorize things), he stood up and left afterwards.
I went to the shower then, thanking god for the incident, for the 'we are done' decision, asking him to give me patience and strength enough to refrain from calling/texting R. I need one week, just 7 days to see if he means it or not. Usually I give up and sms first so the task is very tough.
The horoscope, funny thing, promised me a passion-filled weekend, and hey, turns out true, except the passion means crazy physical activity and rush of rage rather than sexual lust.
I don't quit hoping for a better future, and beautiful proposal, and happy calm married life.
If god gives me a new coil in life, a new love, I will begin posting amazing inspiring things again I'm sure. I will be motivated by the fresh page, changes, emotions.
So yea, stop to the troubled relationship parts. Out of sight out of mind.
About the Author
I'd rather be thin and dorky than fat and cool
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