Day 169 – weighing 46 in the morning and 47 in the evening, but not bothering much about it as I eat full breakfasts and not-so-small dinners these days. Need to drink more water, not tea, though.
Occasionally, I thing about the past and what a jealous girl I was. So jealous it might seem ridiculous. Like, I saw a picture of a girl, assessed it, and immediately my mood worsened as I realized I was not as gorgeous as her. Not as thin/pretty/sexy/etc. The realization made me furious and afterwards came disappointment and something close to self-hate. It’s bitter, it’s awful, it’s a totally wrong feeling which I wish you’d never experience. I could do nothing about it, I had no Auntie Fairy to fly turn me into a princess, I knew ‘beautifying’ myself was going to be a long process which I was not ready for back then. Weak of me, I know.
That time is still remembered by me but I choose not to recall it though. Now that I’m losing weight and starting to like myself more, I've gotten acquainted with the downside of such ‘magic transformation’.
The more you like yourself, the more time you begin to spend before the mirror pleased with the reflection, the higher the possibility of developing a narcissist of yourself. I have not avoided this disadvantage, by the way. I’m not saying I’m all self-admiring but seems like with confidence comes arrogance and conceit so please be careful and take them under control. You want to remain a good person not a Dorian Gray after all, don’t you?
Occasionally, I thing about the past and what a jealous girl I was. So jealous it might seem ridiculous. Like, I saw a picture of a girl, assessed it, and immediately my mood worsened as I realized I was not as gorgeous as her. Not as thin/pretty/sexy/etc. The realization made me furious and afterwards came disappointment and something close to self-hate. It’s bitter, it’s awful, it’s a totally wrong feeling which I wish you’d never experience. I could do nothing about it, I had no Auntie Fairy to fly turn me into a princess, I knew ‘beautifying’ myself was going to be a long process which I was not ready for back then. Weak of me, I know.
That time is still remembered by me but I choose not to recall it though. Now that I’m losing weight and starting to like myself more, I've gotten acquainted with the downside of such ‘magic transformation’.
The more you like yourself, the more time you begin to spend before the mirror pleased with the reflection, the higher the possibility of developing a narcissist of yourself. I have not avoided this disadvantage, by the way. I’m not saying I’m all self-admiring but seems like with confidence comes arrogance and conceit so please be careful and take them under control. You want to remain a good person not a Dorian Gray after all, don’t you?
About the Author
I'd rather be thin and dorky than fat and cool
0 comments: