Day 150 - 'I wanna thank you my friend for making me feel worthwhile', this line from the song by Darren Hayes popped into my mind as I speculated upon what my current relationship is steadily coming to. Or is it rather 'Thank you my friend for having been making me feel worthwhile'? I guess it's more correct to say in the past since this person used to be my motivation, and drive, and push, and whatnot. But due to some reasons, we've been growing apart, and at one point, it's become intolerable. We might be able to come to a consensus this time and then and next time, but anyway in the end it'll come to no effect, and it has been so since the beginning. Unfortunately. My mistake, I've been wanting to make him what I want him to be and what he is not, waiting for support and expression of love which he cannot give writing all off on being too busy while I need his love, care and attention.
In fact, we've been apart even when together, and I'm sure many of you understand what I mean. But on a much lighter note, geesh! A horrible example of denial here! I just looked closer at my pics in the blue dress and saw something I'd totally missed - my legs! Holy blazes! The calves! Why do they seem so bony and small here? When did they get this thin? Even knees more angular now, which I cannot but like. How weird. How pleasantly surprising :) Mom has remarked at least twice for the past month about the 'ugly stick-like skinniness' of my legs but I chose not to hear. Now I see it with my own eyes! Heck, I'm heading in the right direction:)
About the Author
I'd rather be thin and dorky than fat and cool
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