Heck, I'm getting used to these troubled relationship posts. In fact, nothing other than them under my 'everyday life' tag. But to brighten up your mood, some beautiful bouquets for you!
As for said sob R., he pisses me off. But this time I won't mention the details of our regular argument, suffice to say it deals with past sexual life of his. I'd told him by telling me his stories he'll only push me away, but he goes on and on and further, dares comment upon how one special girl gave him an amazing head. Fine, I asked, how about me? You do it alright. My jaw dropped. Al-freaking-right?!??? I do my best to please him the way no one did and no one would and he dares not appreciate it!!! Bastard! Bastard! Bastard! I hate him with all my furious heart, every fibre of my roaring soul despises him! How can a man act in this way with a woman he claims he loves? It's heart-breaking, I never wish any of you girks would go through this pain.
I never never never thought a relationship with such a serious-looking
grown-up will turn out no better than that the cheesy love quotes on
weheartit describing situations where you are in fact none other than an infantile boy
who has no notion what love is. I've put my hopes on you believing you
were 'the one'.
Last time we met I told him no when he wanted a quickie. How can I want sex with someone who I hate so much? Eww, no no no no!!!
I shouldn't be saying this, I shouldn't let you know the intimate details of my life but I just want you to learn on my mistakes and never ever repeat them. I feel humiliated and so so little and helpless it hurts - and he'll never care, never know how it is - his words. He keeps letting me know I better leave him as I cannot rely on him, or ever get respect or even become his one and only, that phrase killed me. When he remarked that, no I cannot become his one true love as he is never sure of tomorrow and will always suspect me of cheating, my heart sank. What more can I add? I lose hope, actually no hope is left. I continue praying, asking God for meeting my prince.
Eh, on a brighter note, even though Mom and Dad are against us together, Mom advised us going for a trip out of town. For god's sake, does she even believe R. will agree? I doubt. Yet, I told him her words and he kinda-sorta showed interest. Partly, I'm overjoyed - to be able to go visit another place with him! On the other hand, with him means possible quarrels on the way and a spoilt pastime as well. Hell, I don't even know if I want it. Mom notes she feels sorry for me as I'm totally wasting my life with R. and that perhaps this trip will bring new impressions. This must be the single reason why I will agree to go there. Of course this expectation may get busted, as usual, and R. forgets to buy tickets, book the hotel, or plain decides he rather stays home. 3rd year 'hand-in-hand' and not a step out of this town together.
Last night, though, I lay sleepless in bed, dreaming... dreaming in apparently wrong direction since phantasies led me to the ideas about how R. gives me a present (engagement ring) during our trip, after a walk round the city, or at the hotel, before a nice dinner and sweet-sweet love-making (*sad sigh* not in this lifetime, who am I kidding?)
Btw, I had this random thought on my mind. Of all the girls (fomer classmates and friends) whose pictures I dug on the net I saw only one girl who took pictures of the wedding rings, no one else has photos with rings in them. In fact, many don't even have wedding ceremony/dress/celebration/table photography at all, and only one of them has a really worthy photoshoot with countless wedding pictures - a truly romantic wedding she's had for sure! A joy to my eyes ;)
If you ask me, of course I want a nice wedding, and if not a luxurious one, then let it be at least memorable (again, R. is not the guy to organize an occasion to be proud of). If a guy doesn't want all this hustle-bustle with relatives and friends at a restaurant with music and dancing and drunk strangers, then please offer an unforgettable journey to a beautiful site with warm sunny weather, flowers and lots and lots of loving, kisses, embraces... I miss romance as you can see.
Now, on to lighter news, hopefully, the bank will return me a pretty sum of money, and if so, the money's gonna go on a bunch of pleasantries. Say, eating out at a jap food restaurant (yeah yeah I mentioned it a dozen times already) - I can always take parents with me if R. is in no mood, or McDonald's where I haven't dropped in for eternity, or get more awesome clothes and shoes (shhh, don't tell Mom as she promises to throw away all my heels if I buy another pair). I just spotted not one but 2 types of heels I'd love to wear ;)
As for this weekend, I'm planning nothing more than a tea at R's place (the invitation I've been waiting from him for half a year), but in case he forgets (99per cent chance) to invite me, it's ok, like I said, I have a good girl to spend some time with. I could also invite another acquaintance of mine to hang out for a while together, he might agree... In any way, I'm not gonna invite R. to my place myself, and the last thing I want is sleep with him. True, don't chase a guy, if he's interested he'll chase you.
Who is she? lucky b*tch! Lol
Troubled relationship
Ok, more, tons and heaps of angsty rant. It's strange how in a weather like this (spring in full bloom here!) all I seem to do is complain and get angry. F*ck R, f*ck him! I feel none other than miserable and pitiful still meeting and communicating with him. Can't wait to go for a walk with my girl friend from work. She will be a breath of fresh air this weekend... aah ;)
As for said sob R., he pisses me off. But this time I won't mention the details of our regular argument, suffice to say it deals with past sexual life of his. I'd told him by telling me his stories he'll only push me away, but he goes on and on and further, dares comment upon how one special girl gave him an amazing head. Fine, I asked, how about me? You do it alright. My jaw dropped. Al-freaking-right?!??? I do my best to please him the way no one did and no one would and he dares not appreciate it!!! Bastard! Bastard! Bastard! I hate him with all my furious heart, every fibre of my roaring soul despises him! How can a man act in this way with a woman he claims he loves? It's heart-breaking, I never wish any of you girks would go through this pain.
I never never never thought a relationship with such a serious-looking
grown-up will turn out no better than that the cheesy love quotes on
weheartit describing situations where you are in fact none other than an infantile boy
who has no notion what love is. I've put my hopes on you believing you
were 'the one'.Last time we met I told him no when he wanted a quickie. How can I want sex with someone who I hate so much? Eww, no no no no!!!
I shouldn't be saying this, I shouldn't let you know the intimate details of my life but I just want you to learn on my mistakes and never ever repeat them. I feel humiliated and so so little and helpless it hurts - and he'll never care, never know how it is - his words. He keeps letting me know I better leave him as I cannot rely on him, or ever get respect or even become his one and only, that phrase killed me. When he remarked that, no I cannot become his one true love as he is never sure of tomorrow and will always suspect me of cheating, my heart sank. What more can I add? I lose hope, actually no hope is left. I continue praying, asking God for meeting my prince.
Eh, on a brighter note, even though Mom and Dad are against us together, Mom advised us going for a trip out of town. For god's sake, does she even believe R. will agree? I doubt. Yet, I told him her words and he kinda-sorta showed interest. Partly, I'm overjoyed - to be able to go visit another place with him! On the other hand, with him means possible quarrels on the way and a spoilt pastime as well. Hell, I don't even know if I want it. Mom notes she feels sorry for me as I'm totally wasting my life with R. and that perhaps this trip will bring new impressions. This must be the single reason why I will agree to go there. Of course this expectation may get busted, as usual, and R. forgets to buy tickets, book the hotel, or plain decides he rather stays home. 3rd year 'hand-in-hand' and not a step out of this town together.Last night, though, I lay sleepless in bed, dreaming... dreaming in apparently wrong direction since phantasies led me to the ideas about how R. gives me a present (engagement ring) during our trip, after a walk round the city, or at the hotel, before a nice dinner and sweet-sweet love-making (*sad sigh* not in this lifetime, who am I kidding?)
Btw, I had this random thought on my mind. Of all the girls (fomer classmates and friends) whose pictures I dug on the net I saw only one girl who took pictures of the wedding rings, no one else has photos with rings in them. In fact, many don't even have wedding ceremony/dress/celebration/table photography at all, and only one of them has a really worthy photoshoot with countless wedding pictures - a truly romantic wedding she's had for sure! A joy to my eyes ;)If you ask me, of course I want a nice wedding, and if not a luxurious one, then let it be at least memorable (again, R. is not the guy to organize an occasion to be proud of). If a guy doesn't want all this hustle-bustle with relatives and friends at a restaurant with music and dancing and drunk strangers, then please offer an unforgettable journey to a beautiful site with warm sunny weather, flowers and lots and lots of loving, kisses, embraces... I miss romance as you can see.
Now, on to lighter news, hopefully, the bank will return me a pretty sum of money, and if so, the money's gonna go on a bunch of pleasantries. Say, eating out at a jap food restaurant (yeah yeah I mentioned it a dozen times already) - I can always take parents with me if R. is in no mood, or McDonald's where I haven't dropped in for eternity, or get more awesome clothes and shoes (shhh, don't tell Mom as she promises to throw away all my heels if I buy another pair). I just spotted not one but 2 types of heels I'd love to wear ;)
As for this weekend, I'm planning nothing more than a tea at R's place (the invitation I've been waiting from him for half a year), but in case he forgets (99per cent chance) to invite me, it's ok, like I said, I have a good girl to spend some time with. I could also invite another acquaintance of mine to hang out for a while together, he might agree... In any way, I'm not gonna invite R. to my place myself, and the last thing I want is sleep with him. True, don't chase a guy, if he's interested he'll chase you.
Some Inspiring pics, quotes and beautiful bouquets
Gay or not, look at his tan and his smile! O.o" Sssexy-smexy! ;)And he has a Ken's body, smooth and shiny like plastic!
About the Author
I'd rather be thin and dorky than fat and cool
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