Here I talk about what my life in Spain might be like if I agree to move to an apartment in Benidorm. Also, a few beach Benidorm pictures - feel the spring coming!
I like a man to be a gentleman. I don't like to be treated as if I am brainless.
I like to be respected and to give respect.
Sharon Stone
Remember I told you it was our anniversary and he was unwilling to celebrate it? I mean, celebrate means as little as congratulate me. Just as expected, on weekend he was extremely reluctant to leave his house and get to my place but still he showed up with 2 balloons. Um, ok, he slept over but not once, neither in the evening nor the next morning did he mention he was happy he'd met me or that he hoped for our good future or love for me. As for 'our'... this is the most disappointing fact. He says he's ready to get married but i've never heard him say we us our, it's all my life in Spain, I want to go to Spain, my house in Spain. And if he hopes for us together, why doesn't he stir a finger to provide me with confidence and reliability and good conditions of life? Besides, this new life, if it happens, implies having children where again, he doesn't know anything about medicine, doesn't have any money for food, let alone for filling the fridge for a whole family!
But this is not what bugs me the most. My one and only question is whether I should take this challenge and go through thick and thick (yes, you read it right) with him or avoid the risk staying alone in this country safe, sound and lonely? Is this what punishment I get for cheating? Mayhaps.
Getting back to the abovementioned 2 balloons and the quote. I'm tired of being treated like a 5yo. All he seems to have money for is small toys: a candle, a toy, balloons. That's all, nothing further. Even flowers, he stopped giving them half a year ago when he last showed up with a bouquet of lilies. Not even a cute little bunch of tulips... is it this hard? It's bullsh*t he's out of money and all broke, he does have savings but not gonna spend them on me. But giving me tiny toys like I'm a new-born feels offensive.
R. is very envious of my job, huh. I've changed 3 jobs and every time he wants to occupy a post similar to mine. It's hard to find a job these days, but the situation he is in can barely be any worse. About a year of unemployment. God bless his mother who gives him food, money and place to live in. Pitiful. Things between us aren't going very well, well... not going well at all. Like in many other posts I repeat I wish it were not so. No stability, zero peace, lack of harmony, absense of comfort, call it as you like. I really wish we clicked. But we still try. In the previous everyday life entry, if you remember, I described the weekend we spent together, all turned out amazing and we both want this kind of peaceful lovey-dovery stuff, except... he's leaving for Spain in a few months.
Apartment in Benidorm
And yet...
Summer 2013, where will I spend you?
This is my main question. Will I spend it poring at Spanish language books, all ready to go to a sunny Spain? Or lose him, staying alone searching for a solace? R. has a newly-bought apartment in Benidorm and is very very eager to return there while I can't understand how he wants to move to the crisis-stricken country where he'll barely find a worthy job. He's dumb. He sacrifices a better life for the unknown, more unstable and shaky than here. Foolish infant.
http://infiniteboardwalk13.tumblr.com/
Benidorm Pictures
More Benidorm pictures next time. Oh her hair!!! I want to grow long hair like this too! ;)
About the Author
I'd rather be thin and dorky than fat and cool
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