Today, next part of troubled relationship series, plus beautiful wedding bouquets and beach pictures.
I think I will keep this blog on forever. I've gotten used to it, you know, except that the design is not to my taste, but overall, I like it. Worse than LJ but a lot better than present-day Tumblr.
I congratulated him on his jubilee in the morning via sms - he replied late in the afternoon with as much as 'Thanks a lot' - nothing besides.
As a 'present' I refilled his cell phone balance, so the moment he received the money he dialed me up, very excited, thanking me, asking when I wanted to meet up. Not that I want to see him at all. I've been also thinking if I want to refuse his 'invitation' for a small celebration on weekend which he suggested, because, honestly... well.. would you want to meet up with someone who ignores you 6 days a week?
He starts to call me hysteric girl often, which upsets me. He behaves like the ex who, he's aware, called me this too. He repeats the same mistakes. Too bad for him.
Mom's been bugging me asking what she and Dad should give him but I said just a bottle of wine and a box of candes would be enough. Does he deserve more, after all? Maybe this sounds harsh of me and you'll never treat thus the person you've been dating, but this is how I 'care' now.
More, on his Birthday he didn't send any other text. I've been waiting for at least anything, another 'thank you' or a good night wish - the cell didn't beep.
Tuesday passed silently, no text or call or blog update, neither were answered my Skype questions. Even when I asked him to, he said he was 'a lil bit busy' watching vids online. Fine. I wished, 'G'night sweetheart' and signed out. That was painful.
I know I know it all seems like an old song where a girl tries to squeeze out something of an almost-dead relationship, she is in love whereas he maybe already on the lookout for another passion.
This is not my case, I assure you. S/o is in a mute mode, is all. He's been saying he thinks a lot, thinks hard on whether or not he wants me as his spouse, whether he wants to take me to Spain with him. But. Said switched-off mode doesn't appeal to me. I'm patient, mega-patient as you have noticed. But as soon as I meet any new possibility I'll grab it with both hands and leave R. alone. 'Cuz I'm afraid by the time he makes up his mind wrt marriage I'll be gone.
A real man would never turn off his gf even in darkest times, would help her, would solve problems without letting her know what bugs him, would grin and bear and never thow a fit in her presence, or swear. Yes I want to quit and I will continue saying I'll do it once I find another guy. The sooner the better.
I feel like a ram dumbly following him, sticking to his rules knowing well enough they are wrong and even un-human, no woman in her right mind would indure a man with demands like his. He calls me bitch while his behavior is no better. Little wonder I stopped calling him names as well, earlier I would shut up but presently, I give it a go, offensive nicknames and sometimes insults. No good relationship is built on mutual humiliation, but this has long ago come to the state of a troubled relationship, so let's screw it up yet further.
Ok, for now I'm considering what words to use when declining his invitation on Friday. What would you advise me? I have never said no to a date with him, never. He did hundreds of times, though. I know his reaction to my decline but it has to be done.
I could start lying again. And cheating is right behind the corner in this case. But is it actually cheating? Never regarded it thus. Whatever he might think I'm going to begin treating him like trash again. What goes around comes around.
Just so you know, I'm going to see him on weekend on one condition. If he suggests going to a jap cafe, hence I'll take advantage of it since I crave maki sushi. If not, if he suggests plain sitting in his car (because we really have no place to stay in) I'll respond with his own 'too busy'.
When am I going to get at least any of this - a bouquet or a trip to the beach? Probably never in this troubled relationship. Yes I'm being pessimistic. What else could you be under 12 below zero in March? Of course I am a pessimist! I just... I need summer!!
I think I will keep this blog on forever. I've gotten used to it, you know, except that the design is not to my taste, but overall, I like it. Worse than LJ but a lot better than present-day Tumblr.
Troubled relationship
Returning to the already-traditional topic of my troubled relationship, I'll tell you how s/o's BDay passed. It was on March, 25, and as agreed beforehand, no celebration on that day due to him being poor as a church mouse plus his absence of mood. Ok, I can understand.I congratulated him on his jubilee in the morning via sms - he replied late in the afternoon with as much as 'Thanks a lot' - nothing besides.
As a 'present' I refilled his cell phone balance, so the moment he received the money he dialed me up, very excited, thanking me, asking when I wanted to meet up. Not that I want to see him at all. I've been also thinking if I want to refuse his 'invitation' for a small celebration on weekend which he suggested, because, honestly... well.. would you want to meet up with someone who ignores you 6 days a week?
He starts to call me hysteric girl often, which upsets me. He behaves like the ex who, he's aware, called me this too. He repeats the same mistakes. Too bad for him.
Mom's been bugging me asking what she and Dad should give him but I said just a bottle of wine and a box of candes would be enough. Does he deserve more, after all? Maybe this sounds harsh of me and you'll never treat thus the person you've been dating, but this is how I 'care' now.
More, on his Birthday he didn't send any other text. I've been waiting for at least anything, another 'thank you' or a good night wish - the cell didn't beep.
Tuesday passed silently, no text or call or blog update, neither were answered my Skype questions. Even when I asked him to, he said he was 'a lil bit busy' watching vids online. Fine. I wished, 'G'night sweetheart' and signed out. That was painful.
I know I know it all seems like an old song where a girl tries to squeeze out something of an almost-dead relationship, she is in love whereas he maybe already on the lookout for another passion.
This is not my case, I assure you. S/o is in a mute mode, is all. He's been saying he thinks a lot, thinks hard on whether or not he wants me as his spouse, whether he wants to take me to Spain with him. But. Said switched-off mode doesn't appeal to me. I'm patient, mega-patient as you have noticed. But as soon as I meet any new possibility I'll grab it with both hands and leave R. alone. 'Cuz I'm afraid by the time he makes up his mind wrt marriage I'll be gone.
A real man would never turn off his gf even in darkest times, would help her, would solve problems without letting her know what bugs him, would grin and bear and never thow a fit in her presence, or swear. Yes I want to quit and I will continue saying I'll do it once I find another guy. The sooner the better.
I feel like a ram dumbly following him, sticking to his rules knowing well enough they are wrong and even un-human, no woman in her right mind would indure a man with demands like his. He calls me bitch while his behavior is no better. Little wonder I stopped calling him names as well, earlier I would shut up but presently, I give it a go, offensive nicknames and sometimes insults. No good relationship is built on mutual humiliation, but this has long ago come to the state of a troubled relationship, so let's screw it up yet further.
Ok, for now I'm considering what words to use when declining his invitation on Friday. What would you advise me? I have never said no to a date with him, never. He did hundreds of times, though. I know his reaction to my decline but it has to be done.
I could start lying again. And cheating is right behind the corner in this case. But is it actually cheating? Never regarded it thus. Whatever he might think I'm going to begin treating him like trash again. What goes around comes around.
Just so you know, I'm going to see him on weekend on one condition. If he suggests going to a jap cafe, hence I'll take advantage of it since I crave maki sushi. If not, if he suggests plain sitting in his car (because we really have no place to stay in) I'll respond with his own 'too busy'.
Beautiful wedding bouquets and beach pictures
Still looking for beach pictures, in self-deception, denial. Same with wedding and beautiful bouquets pictures.When am I going to get at least any of this - a bouquet or a trip to the beach? Probably never in this troubled relationship. Yes I'm being pessimistic. What else could you be under 12 below zero in March? Of course I am a pessimist! I just... I need summer!!
About the Author
I'd rather be thin and dorky than fat and cool
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